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(Bandwagon Summer 3)

 

When did you first meet yourself?                JACKIE KASHIAN

 

1. When did you first meet yourself? In that famous "Summer of Love Thyself" in the 80's. I read Illusions and

discovered that, if I could concentrate and believe, I could have anything I wanted. Including, for example, your car.

 

It was a crazy time. I was living in the Wisconsin Dells and we would drink right out of the Amaretto bottle.

 

2. Is it necessary to suck on a pacifier when raving? In the end I think it's just comforting.

 

3. Define comedy. Good lord, a serious one. And so subjective that there isn't a right answer.

It's all just my opinion, but realize, it's a terrible burden being right – so here goes.

 

Basically, comedy is everything. From people falling down to Walter the Farting Dog to a well crafted intellectual farce. Standup comedy is when someone is Funny in a Row; on purpose. Comedy can be dumb, ridiculous, smart or mean. But it has to have heart or truth to it to make me laugh. Great standup, for me, is when you are funny about something that is so close to the heart and so true you can hear the bit/joke/story over and over again. Like Dana Gould or Maria Bamford or any number of great comics working today.

 

4. Where are those "warehouses downtown"? Okay, you have to find this guy and ask him. He's middle aged, white, has a pony tail and he always wears an Army jacket.

 

5. Do you have to believe you are funny to make it work? Wow, that's disproven every time some crazy comes up to me and tells me that he's hilarious and then tells me a joke or some story that has NOT been edited since movable type was invented. It's amazing how many people think they are funny, when really, they are just ... I don't know, pleasant?

 

6. What is the name of your favorite dance club?  Dante's in Portland. Because there is actual OPEN Flame in some of the rooms.

 

7. Is your comic personality always on? I think everyone would agree that I am ALWAYS on. It's really hard to just talk to me about anything. I'm always riffin'.

 

8. Is there anything else you wanted to do with your life? Well, sure. I'd like to be rich enough to start a foundation to help people and hide behind, tax-wise.

 

9. Where do you find balance? Same as everyone. With my family and friends. I also autistically watch movies over and over again. (and if you're wondering, ANY movie. Xmen, Mother, It Happened One Night).

 

10. Tell me a story from the road. All these stories start the same. I'm on stage in some dive and there's a heckler. This time it's a career drunk on the bar rail who's been messing with everyone before I get up and

now me. I mock him and try to make him shut up. It works for a while until he finally yells, "I will give you 100bucks if you tell a joke that makes me laugh." Note that he's so drunk that the only thing that would get his attention (much less a laugh) would be if I could juggle dogs or something. I'm over it, the room, the gig, the guy, so I say the meanest thing I can think of, "sir, you haven't had a 100 dollars for more than a half hour in your entire life." He

garbles some protest and stumbles to the stage. He pulls a crumpled wad of money out of his pocket and puts it on the stage. I pick it up. $57 bucks. I say, "my point exactly." I try to hand it back to him and tell him to take it or I'm keeping it. He yells, "I have lots of money, you can keep it!" I say, "sir, when you wake up, you're going to be CERTAIN you were robbed." What the hell happened to my money? The crowd is chanting, "keep it. keep it.” I

do the rest of my set, I get off stage, walk up to the guy to give him his money back and he slaps my hand away and stumbles out the door. So... I made an extra, whopping, $57 that night. And I got a walk from the bartender to my car.

 

11. What's on the horizon? Fire.